What God has shown me this month.
Hi!! I hope you guys are having a great start to your week! This was the most thought through blog post yet… My Life Update is the blog post and it’s because I have had a lot going on and the Lord has been working and helped me make a lot of tough choices recently.
I am terrified of change! I despise it with a passion, and for the first time I was so excited that I knew exactly what to do after high school. I planned to go to a Bible Institute, and the one I originally planned didn’t work out, but there was another one that just seemed so perfect. It is such an amazing school with such great teachers that spend a lot of time in prayer and studying to teach us what God wants them to. I assumed that I would be here in Idaho for the whole three year program, but the Lord had different plans. After one year, I went back to Colorado summer and it was like the Lord was trying to show me I needed to be back in Colorado again, but I wanted to believe it was just the fact that I was so comfortable with my family and lifestyle there and still adjusting to living on my own was a struggle. After more time back in Idaho it became so clear that God was telling me to move back. Sooo I am really sad to say goodbye to friends and excited to see what the Lord has planned as I am heading back to Colorado in one week from today.
One of the things that one of my counselors told me as I was telling him my biggest fear is looking like I failed God, he said “You only fail God when you stop serving Him.” That was something that just completely spoke to me because wherever I am, as long as I am truly serving God I cannot fail Him. People’s opinions come and go, and if I chose fear of man over fear of God, I wouldn’t make this decision to move back.
So on that note… I wanted to talk about fear, fear of people’s opinions, of new seasons, and the fear of what next?? I am feeling this one so much right now!
My dad put fear of man and compared it to the fear of God and here were some key things that really spoke to me: Fear of man: is focusing on temporary, whereas the fear of God is focusing on eternal. Fear of Man is looking at it the carnal way, and fear of God is looking at it spiritually! God has a plan for us and letting other people dictate how we feel or handle those plans is not the right outlook because no one else can know what God’s calling for you is except for you in prayer.
Fear of a new season: This one is really hard and can kind of be combined with what next, because there’s so much uncertainty. Right now, even though my family’s church that I am helping when I get back will have a Sunday school class for me to teach, and a lot of projects in our new church building that will keep me busy. But what about college, what about Bible institute, what about my future life? I am so scared to be completely honest to fail in the place that God has me… I want to leave a place better than I came and I hope that this season back will show that’s my main mission. I don’t know God’s calling on whether I am called to a mission field, or if I am needing to get a degree and career. I have a lot of I don’t knows, but one thing that always stuck out to me during these times is something my dad told me: “Do the last thing God told you to do, and He’ll show you in His time.” Even though I can’t see so far ahead as much as I really want to, I can do the right thing right now.
Anyways, all that to say, God is who to lean on when fear creeps in. Prayer and time spent with Him will reveal the truth in the anxious moments.
“What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.”
-Psalm 56:3 KJV-
Sincerely,
Bella <3
