Being a victor not a victim
Hello!!
I am so glad to be back on this blog! It has been a HOT minute. I honestly have put a pause in a lot of my socials just dealing with personal life. Before I get into it already let’s talk LIFE UPDATE. Ok guys, I have been working at my mall job AKA AS Revival store, I am so excited to say I was recently promoted to Guest Lead position, basically having more responsibility while on salesfloor and helping closing and opening the store. It is such a blessing to see me grow into this position, and so thankful for the opportunity to continue to grow. I also just registered for Fall classes which I am so excited about, it just makes it feel so real seeing my schedule in place! It’s so crazy.
The topic for today is of course another thing I am working on and maybe you are too. That’s the amazing thing about social media, you hear so many negative things about the comparison effect it has but it also helps to see that people are going through some of the same struggles, it’s good to know you are not alone. I actually always think of that Dear Evan Hansen song called “You will be found” Literally about that. Anwaysss, with that said I have been allowing things in my life to take full control of how I act, talk, etc.
You know those bad friendship break ups in high school where you end up hiding behind lockers, and wanting to change seats in class because it is just way too hard to face it on. Any time that there seems to be opposition or something isn’t going right, I go back to that mentality automatically. While I will say that toxic friendships and things that constantly bring you down should be cut off, there is a balance. Just hold on and listen, I am getting somewhere with this. People will hurt you, you have hurt others too. It is just the way relationships sometimes go, it is not easy and not fun but while cutting things out of your life that don’t bring you peace is a hundred per cent needed, don’t let them take your peace with them!
When I have friendships or relationships not work out even if it was ended by a mature conversation, I handle it like my high school self. I hide in a corner when they are in the room. I feel like crying and look like it too. I allow them to control my actions when they are in the same area. I hate it! It is not something I am very proud of obviously, but how do I turn the hurt of a victim to the triumph of a victor? How do I go from this mentality that only hurts myself?
Going to God’s word for all questions is the best response to ever have when you aren’t sure where to get the answer. Here is just a few verses that have helped me start trying to change my mentality to not be a victim anymore and show the compassion of the Lord.
“A man that hath friends must show himself friendly: And there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.” Proverbs 18:24
This verse reminds me even though I can’t control the outcomes of my friendships or relationships, having a compassionate attitude and truly caring more for others than myself will bring a peace knowing it is the Lord’s will.
“A friend loveth at all times…”- Proverbs 17:17
Again this just proves that my mentality is the problem, my focus completely on me instead of loving those around me no matter what the circumstances are. If Jesus was able to love me with all my mess ups, all my sins, all my hatred and envy, than why can’t I love others who struggle with the same problems. No one is perfect so why should I expect that from others especially when I need their grace for when I am not perfect.
“Only by pride cometh contention: But with the well advised is wisdom.”- Proverbs 13:10
Ok, this one totally is calling me out. Usually when I cut off a friend or decide to end a relationship it’s because of my own pride, my own self security. I hold myself higher than those that I decide aren’t worth my time. Now let’s be real, some people are not the best to be around and can always bring you down which is not a healthy friendship to be in, but maybe space doesn’t mean not caring for them anymore. Pray for them! Text them, reach out because the ones who usually are doing those things are the ones who are hurting the most and they take it out in different ways. When they take it out on me I get angry and prideful instead of compassionate and loving.
This year is almost halfway done, what do I have to show for it? Can I say I have influenced for good or have I been so self-involved that I only see progress on a scale or calendar? I said I wanted to make a difference but sometimes I focus too much on the “I” part of that sentence. I pray that these words are a true transformation of a new character building inside. I pray that I can influence more for the Lord and focus on why I am truly here. I am not here for a degree, or for marriage, or for my own wants or needs but for God and what he has given me to influence and help with.
I hope that this could be a blessing for you! I am hoping to be way more active with my blogs, I definitely hit a valley this couple months but God hasn’t changed and I am thankful for His grace and His hand in my life. God is good!
Keep staying close to Him!
Sincerely
Bella <3
